


Don't Call (Me Doll)

by dickjokesanddoilies



Category: Easy Allies RPF
Genre: Drinking, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, SAD HUBER :(((((, Self-Destruction, Violence, mentions of polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-15 01:01:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19284871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dickjokesanddoilies/pseuds/dickjokesanddoilies
Summary: I love two things n this world: 1: angst, and 2: challenging traditional “dynamics” that most people base on appearance.Another ancient piece of fiction archived from my old blog! Pls enjoy!!!





	1. The Call

Mike sat on his futon, furiously scrubbing tears from his pale face as he took another swig of beer number…? Gosh, he’d lost count, and that made him just cry even harder. Hugging his legs to his chest, his blurry gaze shifted to his cellphone, which rested on the coffee table in front of him, and occasionally buzzed. Mike didn’t want to hear it; wished he had the cold heartlessness to shut it off and ignore his friends completely. After all, all of his problems stemmed from them, and how wonderful they all were to him.

Ian…Kyle….Jones…Brad, of course….Ben….. they were such great friends.

Just friends.

Another sob wracked Huber’s whole body as he buried his face into the sharp points of his knees, thinking about how alone he’d always be. None of them would ever think of Huber, silly, hyper, stupid Huber in a romantic light. No one could love such an annoying, attention-seeking baby, who had a crying fit anytime he thought about how in love he was with nearly everyone he worked with. He pinched the skin of his forearm harshly, hissing at the sharp pain.

A different sound stuck out from the continuous buzzing of his phone, enough that Mike picked his head up from his knees, and frowned at the music. Ian’s voice sang “Bloodborne…oh Bloodborne~” and, despite himself, Huber couldn’t help but grin. Ian’s voice, whether the beauty was singing or not, had always had a calming effect on Huber. Whether or not Ian knew this was…well, a different story.

“Ur, ehem, h-hello?” Huber tried to make his voice sound strong as he answered the phone, straightening his posture even though Ian couldn’t see him.

“Heeey, Hubey!”

Mike flinched at the sweet tone of Ian’s voice. The other was probably trying to go for goofy and friendly, but the cute, almost flirty nature of it was like a dagger in Mike’s chest.

“Ian!” He tried for warmth, but goddamnit, his voice even sounded wobbly to him. “H-hey. What’s uh, what’s up?“ 

There was a pause, and then the sound of keys jingling. Huber’s blood went cold.

"Uhh, well. I was just driving around, you know, as I do when the insomnia hits. I…are you okay, Huber?”

Shit.

“Uhmm, no? SHIT, I mean yes!” Huber had never been able to lie, not well, and DEFINITELY not to his friends.

“I’m just getting into the self-checkout now. I’ll be over in a few minutes. Gimme ten.”

“Wha-but, Ian, no-”

“Byyyye Babydoll!”

Mike’s movements were stinted as he clumsily set his phone back down unto the table’s wooden surface, flinching as it rattled the several cans of beer Mike had made quick work of earlier that evening. The blood pumping in his veins felt sluggish and thick, like molasses as his still-teary eyes glanced down at his appearance. He hadn’t showered that day, he wasn’t wearing any pants, and the pale skin of his right forearm had a little trail of red pinching marks running down its length. Ian couldn’t see him like this, so pathetic and disheveled. Ian was always so put-together, so effortlessly gorgeous with their chipped nail polish and golden waves and crescent white smile.

In a error of judgment, Huber made the mistake of picking up his phone, squeezing his eyes shut as he took in the wall of missed texts. Gosh, even seeing their smiling faces next to their messages hurt too much. And Ian was on their way here, to see him in person. Shit. Fuck.

"Hey buddy. Just had a clarifying question about Law’s backstory for D&D. Might need to change some things for logics sake.“ -From Ben.

"Dude. I’m online. Ur not. Fix this pls??!” -From Brad

“Ummm dude! Don’t leave me hangin here! Best Co-Op Buddies!” -From Brad

“Hey kid! Going over the footage from your latest episode. Great work, Mike!” - From Jones

After that were a couple more from Brad, one from Kyle, and then about four missed calls from “Ian <3333”. He jumped when the phone buzzed as he was holding it, having only gotten up from the couch, and still clutching his blanket to his chest.

Message from: Ian <3333: “Talked to Brad on the drive here. Think I understand. I’m coming up now.”

Brad?? What the hell could Brad possible have told them? Sure, Brad was his best friend, his ride-or-die, best co-op buddie etc. etc. But if even Brad hadn’t gotten the clue that Mike had been in love with him since like, elementary school, then how on earth could he help Ian? Mike had the brief, panicked realization that he was standing in the middle of his living room, still half-naked, with beer cans decorating a good amount of his coffee table, just as the door swung open.


	2. The Answer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie to y'all: there’s gonna be kissing. Lotsssss a kissing

There was a beat of silence as both Allies took in the other’s appearance. Huber’s eyes flickered to Ian’s face, saw the shock and confusion and concern mingling there, and Ian’s eyes trailed over Huber’s exposed chest, unseen by the other behind his shades. Glossy lips quirked slightly at the pink flush that traveled up Huber’s pale chest, up the column of his throat, and finally reaching the tips of his ears as he realized he wasn’t in the most proper state of dress. After a beat, Ian surged forwards, and Huber lurched back, wincing as his thigh knocked one empty can into another, and started up chorus of mournful rattling.

“My god, Huber! How much have you had to drink?!”

He rubbed his eyes, unable to stand looking at how well Ian filled out their jacket, the hem of their t-shirt just a bit too short, revealing a sliver of hip bones that Huber couldn’t take his eyes off of. How had this beautiful goddess stumbled into his life, still so gorgeous even with the world turning into one massive blur?

“Jus’ had a couple, man. Casual, y'know?”

The alcohol made him misjudge the distance, and he stumbled slightly. Ian rushed to his side, planting a hand firmly on his lower back as they guided the smaller man to sitting oh-so carefully.

“There’s nothing casual about consuming this much alcohol, Huber. And you don’t drink like this unless it’s a holiday; so what’s this all about, huh?”

Ian’s palm on his lower back was like fire burning through his shirt and imprinting into his skin. Everything in his heart wanted to just melt into their touch, and that notion made Huber pull away, trying to remove himself from where Ian could brush up against him. But the blonde, whom he’d had a crush on ever since he’d been “The Prompter Wizard” on MU, had both of his hands trapped in their lap.

“Talk to me, do- Huber. Mike. Please.”

He would never be able to refuse this one now, would he?

“I just…it’s so dumb. I’m so dumb. You’ll hate me if I tell you!”

Ian snorted, and Huber wasn’t expecting the amused noise from him genuinely pouring his heart out. When he glanced up, Ian was side eying him, sunglasses just barely perched on the tip of their nose.

“Michael. It’s literally impossible for ANYBODY to hate you, like, even a little bit. I…especially not me. Don’t you know that by now, babydoll?”

The pet name continued to put fire in his gut, and it pushed his confession out of him almost unwillingly:

“Nobody will ever love me! I-I tell you all that I love you with everything I have, that I am in love with you, and all I get is ‘that’s nice Huber’ or ‘okay then, Huber’. I’ve felt like this for forever, and you’re all ignoring it because you don’t want to let me down, or break up the group or-”

Tears trickled down Mike’s cheeks as the dam finally broke, and Ian could actually fell their heart cracking as he watched this wonderful, beautiful human being falling apart right before their eyes. And a lot of the things Mike was saying were really resonating with them. They knew that they had to take a chance; they couldn’t stand to watch him cry a second longer. Red nailed hands took ahold of both sides of Huber’s head and hauled him in for a kiss, a desperate press of lips. Ian reveled in the small, soft gasp Huber emitted as his lips became sticky with cherry lipgloss, and a tongue began to trace his teeth. Ian put as much love and enthusiasm into the kiss as possible (and boy were they a good kisser), wanting to convey the endless swell of love they held for this sweet, gentle boy in their arms.

“I love you, Mike. These things you’re saying, I’ve been thinking them for months, but I was…I was just so scared. But you, you feel the same way. Gosh, why are you such a perfect fucking human? I love you, I love us.”

“You love them?”

They stared into each other’s eyes, so close that they were sharing each other’s breath, and Ian’s thumbs were rubbing tiny circles into Huber’s hipbones, a grounding pressure that kept Huber from ever thinking that this was a dream. Ian loved him; the amazing person who flitted around parties and kissed the prettiest girl there each and every time loved him. Now that they’d admitted it to each other, and to the world, Huber was seeing a little more clearly now. But, what about this next step? That was a whole other beast in and of itself.

“I…I really do. And I’m so tired of ignoring it. We…we should say something, and stop ignoring it. What we have…what we could have. It’s, frankly, dumb as hell.”

Huber clung to Ian’s shoulders, sliding on hand up to gingerly remove their sunglasses so that he could regard them intensely:

“Together. You and I. Someone has to start it. And this, this just proves that it should be us.”

“Yeah…” Ian agreed in a soft voice, thumb coming up to rub one of his moles, “Because lord knows Brad’s way too chicken to have not made a move by now.”

“And Ben’s too busy worrying about card packs to take care of himself”

Ian leaned in, bringing them into yet another sweet, chaste kiss:

“You and I, Babydoll. You in?”

Huber finally allowed a goofy grin to spread across his glowing face, reaching over to give Ian’s arm an excited squeeze as he said:

“Always have been. Always will be.”


End file.
